Shitpost Goddess
Shitpost Goddess is a justice and former member of the Platformist Party, who ran for Bayside in the April 2018 Election. She works as an ABC Reporter and occasional host of the Q&A Program, and is also deeply involved with the Terra Library Society as the Deputy Chief Lorekeeper. At the next election, Shitpost negotiated the merger of the Australian Greens with the Platformists. Following this, she was unanimously elected as "Platformist Voice," the de facto head of the party. After the May 2018 General Election, she resigned from the Platformists to serve on the judiciary. Biography Early Life Shitpost was born in regional Victoria under mysterious circumstances involving black magic and a possum, her real parents totally unknown. This led to an early engagement with left-wing politics after the local Council of Trade Unions adopted her. She soon became the group's mascot, and could be found at every picket line and labour dispute in the area. Political Career Later in life, Shitpost began drifting from town to town, securing a part time job with the ABC as reporter for Regional Victoria. During this time, she met with the Platformist Liam "The Bear," and was convinced to join the party and run for the Electorate of Bayside in the Victorian Lower House. The Nar Nar Goon Incident Main Article - Battle of the Bar During the volatile April 2018 Election campaign, controversial Dominionist leader Bsharri was arrested following a threatening ABC interview. He soon took to Twatter to demand Dominionist supporters take up arms to fight for his arrest, leading to Shitpost being attacked as she watched Election Eve coverage in the Nar Nar Goon Bowls Club. The attacker, Eddie Eagles, died following the attack in a complicated series of freak accidents. The aftermath of the violence, which marked the beginning of Dominionist violence around the country, elevated Shitpost as a reporter and led to her being chosen to host a special Election Eve Q&A focusing on drugs, indigenous issues, and the Dominion League. Election Fallout Main Article - April Revolution Following the unexpected loss of Platformists in several key seats, Shitpost was contacted by Liam, who shared suspicions that the election was compromised due to major inconsistencies. When the ABC reported whistle-blowing by Tobycool2001 that confirmed this, riots broke out around the country. The Platformists supporters of Bayside, gathered in or near the St Kilda RSL for the results party, marched on VEC headquarters, others joining them on the way. Once there, they detained high ranking Electoral workers and conducted street trials in the chaos, searching offices for evidence of involvement in the tampering. Those found guilty were sent with General Ewan McGregor into exile. The VEC search confirmed Shitpost had won the seat of Bayside, although tampering caused it to be reported as a tie. Platformist Voice In the wake of the rigged election, Shitpost managed to consolidate the shaken Platformist Party by merging with the weakened Greens, putting them ahead. In the following weeks, during Liam's leave of absence, she became the Chief Strategist for the Platformists, and helped coordinate the campaign. On the night of registration's closing, Liam "The Bear" moved a motion to elect Shitpost as Platformist Voice, which passed without dissent. Judiciary After the May Election results came in, she chose not to take one of the Platformist Legislative Council seats, instead accepting an appointment to the judiciary from Governor of Victoria Tobycool2001 Political Views As a former member of the Platformists, Shitpost is left-wing, describing herself as a socialist. Some of her primary contributions to the Platformist manifesto included a radical drug rehab policy and renationalisation of Australia's energy industry, shaped by visits to the Latrobe Valley. Electoral Results Category:Platformist Party Category:ABC